Mask Task

The Task:
A few weeks ago, a friend held a masquerade-themed birthday party. The idea was for guests to sport some nice duds and wear some type of mask. Since the threat of swine flu was prevalent in the headlines at the time, I decided that my mask for the event would be a surgical mask that I would decorate to look fancy (or maybe even schmancy) for the party.

The Hunt:
The people of Australia are a well-educated, reasonable people. At the time, there were only a few out-of-state “suspected cases” of the swine flu, so it was easy to find a surgical mask to decorate. WRONG. I checked several pharmacies and as I asked the staff for masks, the depressed retail trogs would cut me off in mid-sentence to tell me they had sold out over a week prior. Apparently the panic stricken, fanatical population of Melbourne bought up all the masks in town at the first moment a sad Mexican was shown sporting one on the news. Buffoonery!

The Decision:
I now had to decide whether to forge on with the original idea of a flu mask or scrap it and just buy a toy mask of some kind. I had to decide fast, too since I naturally left this project to the last minute. If you know me well, you’ll know that I’m lazy, and if you know me weller, you’ll know that I have impeccable grammar; but if you know me wellest, you’ll know that I will stop at nothing for comedy (no matter how small the laugh). Forge on, I say!

The Crafting:
I knew the only way that I was going to have anything resembling a surgical mask on my face by the end of the night was if I made it myself, so I bought a small sewing kit and brainstormed what article of clothing was expendable enough to cut up, sew, and sacrifice to comedy. The was only one logical choice: underwear. The trap-door front (or “ball basket”) was a natural choice because, once removed, it is already neatly hemmed on two of the four sides. I sewed on a shoelace and hemmed the top and bottom. I Decorated with some low cost “shoupie” felt pens, and I was on my way. Success!

The Aftermath:
The mask was a hit at the party and the fact that it was made of underwear meant that it was fodder for many jokes (most made by me) for the rest of the night. Since I need that shoelace again, I thought I should take a picture and write this post to honour the mask that will never be seen again.

Fancy Flu Filter

The Horror:
Those who know me wellest also know that I’m cheap, and I couldn’t help but try to see if the mask would still work as underwear. Below is a reenactment, the actual picture will never be seen and my camera had to be burned and buried.

NSFW